For context: Institutional ageism refers to a culture perpetuating ageism through its actions and policies. Interpersonal ageism refers to social interactions. Internalized ageism is when people have ageist beliefs that are applied to themselves.

Generalizing about older people is no different than generalizing about race, ethnicity and gender. Thankfully, we have become more aware of those other “isms,” but ageism is somehow still accepted, expected and condoned, even by people who fall into the older age category.

There are, of course, plenty of exceptions to the stereotype. However, calling them “exceptions” implies that they’re true, except under certain circumstances.

When consulting to organizations, I urge employees of different ages to “use each other” in the best sense of the term. Of course, not all new employees are young and not all veterans are old. Yet, it is not uncommon for most to fit within those age categories.

I worked with a company (not on the East Coast, so don’t try to guess who it is) where people were hoping a long-time employee would leave. He did announce his retirement, and many were delighted. Noticing that reaction, the leadership team decided to have him devote his last three months of tenure to sharing institutional wisdom.

He had no idea how much he knew because it was so embedded in his experience. Once he started doing that, people were hanging on every word, eventually begging him not to retire. They now ask all retirees to devote the last three months of tenure to sharing accumulated knowledge: their experiences and what worked in the past and what didn’t.

Are the following facts or myths?

Older people can’t learn new things or ways. Really? You don’t know anyone in that group who uses a computer, has a cell phone, drives a new car, has tried a new recipe, learned a new skill or transitioned to a different living situation?

They are resistant to change. Well, just about everyone is reluctant at some level because with every change, there is a trade-off. Even positive change means giving up what is familiar and comfortable. To reference the workplace again, I hear that “new people aren’t having trouble with the changes.” They didn’t do it the old way! Or at least not for very long.

You’re as old as you feel. Talk about instilling guilt! Does that mean if you have an ache, you brought it on because your left leg felt old? I’ve seen a lot of young people struggling. In their case, we assume it’s the result of an accident.

Older folks aren’t valuable to society. If that’s true, let’s eliminate all history classes. We learn from what happened in the past. Who better to inform us than those who lived through it, especially if we don’t want to repeat historical negatives?

They’ve lost a sense of purpose. Is that true or are they listened to less?

Get beyond assumptions

Beyond a certain age, people are credited with being warm and nice but perceived as less competent. If they’re not kind, they fall into the category of “grumpy old person.” Actually, it’s still usually described as “grumpy old men.” Women are sometimes so ignored that they’re not even described as being cantankerous.

Never countering what an older person says is considered respectful. It’s actually dismissive. When debating someone, you’re at least acknowledging them.

Older people are assumed to be sexually inactive. Then again, despite the belief that it’s now an acknowledged topic, no one wants to know that about anyone, certainly not about their grandparents.

They should work very hard at appearing young. I once talked with a woman who was baffled that (mostly females) are encouraged to act or say they’re 10 years younger. She tells people she’s 10 years older. Her words: “If I’m 65 and say I’m 55, people think, ‘Wow! She doesn’t look good.” If I’m 65 and say I’m 75, the response is, ‘You look terrific!’ ”

The older you are, the less you can contribute to society. If we don’t invite their contributions, we’re in deep shit. Whoops! Was that not appropriate or should that statement only be reserved for younger people?

Gerri King, PhD, is a social psychologist and organizational consultant from Concord.